Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Selfish Help

Picture from the web
One of the lightest moments I never had for quite sometime now I spent in scanning my favorite short story book called The Storyteller's Minute by an SVD priest. I have read most of the stories here but when I am in my reading mood, I like to read them again. It's kind of a boost to the spirit and to me a good source of joke.

This story just woke me up again to the truth that not all the help we're getting from our friends and relatives are truly springing from their honest desire to help but for some other reasons which they think might be beneficial for them. I love my family, I love my friends but to be naive is another story. I don't want to sound too judgmental of people trying to extend their hands but if I were to really receive the help they are offering, I should think twice. It's not that I would totally refuse the offer because it's hypocrisy, too not to admit that I need one but with some reservations I should also be on my defense.

Here is the full text of the story, with no addition and no omission:

A man was just ready to jump off a bridge into a river, when a policeman rushed up to him and said, "No! No! Please don't do that!Why should a young man like you, who has hardly started to live, jump into the river?"

"Listen to me, please! If you jump into the river, I'll have to jump in after you in order to save you. Try to understand that the water is ice cold and I have just gotten over a bout of double pneumonia. Do you know what that means? That means I will die. I have a wife and four children. Do you want to have that in your conscience? No. Naturally not. So listen to me. Be reasonable. Repent and God will forgive you. Go back home, where you are all alone and undisturbed.... and there you can hang yourself, if you insist on ending your life."    by Anthony de Mello

This story is a good eye-opener for me and I don't know the impact this anecdote will give you.


Friday, September 14, 2012

The Allegory....

I remembered last night, as I was pondering on the things that are going on around me, Plato's Allegory on the Cave. My professor in Cultural Anthropology was one of the best who fluently spoke about it. Plato was one of the great philosophers I admired and his message was just so powerful that I could not help myself from going to the internet to read it again. It just fascinated me and how I ended up relating myself to one of the cavemen who just got out from the cave.

So poignant  to see  all the thoughts, abstract they may be, but recognizing my husband as the front-line puppeteer behind my chained self. He was showing on the wall the caricatures of thoughts and desires not all coming from him. The other main puppeteers behind him were stronger that he succumbed to them having been a slave himself of his "joyous" past and showed me what he shouldn't. Now that he 's gone, the main ones wanted to take over to show me another set of figures on the wall. But oh no! By accident, I was able to move my head and looked to the side  where I saw a tiny Divine light which looked real to me than the shadows I used to see on the wall. What an exciting feeling! I struggled to free myself of the chain and crept out just to get the maximum view of where the light came from.

Whoever reads this, it's for you to give your best guess. Will I ever go back to the cave and be chained again?


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

God Will Make A Way....

As I look at everything that is happening now in my life, I feel like the whole world is crumbling down on me. I cry as it is the only way to vent out the turmoil inside. Most of the time when I cry,  I feel  surge of energy not just coming from everywhere but the thought that God is watching me; not only that He is watching me, He is there to guide me making sure the path I am on is where I really am supposed to be. It is my faith that is keeping my body and soul together at this moment of difficulty.

I remembered this song last night in the middle of my crying time and all of a sudden I stopped crying and sung the song. Very comforting....

Don Moen - God Will Make A Way lyrics

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today

Lyrics | Don Moen lyrics - God Will Make A Way lyrics


Sunday, May 20, 2012

Life is a Journey

When I was a kid, I started dreaming of dreams that sometimes made me drift too far away from reality. I thought fairy tales do come true. But as I learned later in the school of life, fantasy is just a mere right of our mind to think base on our own desires. And how nice it is to stay and live within its bound. However, we have a choice to make in life, with our own freewill and intellect, to choose the right path that can turn fantasy to reality.

Life is a priceless gift from God and we need to make the most out of it. There is no place for procrastination in this world but being dominated by our human nature, we all have these normal tendencies that can lead us out of focus. I want to address this to myself. I have wasted so much of my time letting my brains and freewill settled down in the deep recesses of my senseless self. I was doped with so much love in my heart that I refused to reason. I could have lived a well balanced life had I not succumbed to the power of my own vulnerability. I believe God has plans for me and for everybody but I was blinded by the overwhelming rays of illusions. It took me so long to discern until finally God put an end to my beloved husband's sojourn in this life.

Our journey together was short. And I guess, it was meant to be. It's painful and so draining mentally, physically and emotionally. But the road ahead is wide and endless, I just need to be strong to open another chapter of my life and get use to not having him around. After all we'll be together again someday, somehow.


Saturday, October 1, 2011

The Joy of the Ripen Years....

My father surrounded by his grandchildren....

When I was in my really young years, I had never thought how lonely it would be when we grow up in years. Now as I look at my fast aging Tatay, I could not imagine myself battling my own  feeling of uncertainty. I believe our life is full of uncertainties that oftentimes erode our inner strength. The only thing that keeps us going is the faith in our heart that always shines through all those moments. But what if  in your ripen years nobody cares to pump up your depleted spirit?

I guess my parents made the right decision when they decided to nurture a "big" family at the beginning. To me, no amount of money can ever substitute the love we give to our parents. To love does not mean to give material things because what lifts our spirit is something that our eyes can never see. It's the intangible that touches the very soul of the person. Quality time spent with each other with no conditions, is the best family time that boosts everyone to become a nurturing being.

The picture of Tatay shows that he is happy, despite Nanay's passing away few months ago. Needless to say what paints the happiness on his deep-furrowed face. The joy of his ripen years is coming from the angels who surround him and thanks to my brothers and sisters who have ushered them all in to this world.

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